Beauty is questing!
Episode 1/25:
A bottle washed up on the shore in a foamy wave right beside Beauty, who was on the beach looking for shells. It had a curled scroll inside bearing a message! Beauty excitedly uncorked the bottle and unrolled the letter.
“Help! [it said]
I’m trapped on Tyburne Island. Please send a rescue team!”
It was signed: “Frilligreene Slug, Archaeology Team”.
On the other side was a map showing how to get to Tyburne Island and the bottle contained a mysterious ornate key!

Beauty is questing!
Episode 2/25:
Beauty hurried to the pier, anxious to enlist help as soon as possible. Providentially, at the pier was the pirate, Captain Theodore, not averse to an audience to whom he could recount his tall tales of voyages in unbelievably bad weather, waves the size of mountains and encounters with sea monsters and mermen. Once he learnt of the Slug’s plight, however, he cut short his stories (for the time being anyway) and agreed to skipper the search and rescue party. Beauty hurried off to procure provisions and items that might come in handy, while Theodore sent his lobster crew to check the lockers for ropes, candles, bird seed for the parrot and, most importantly, bottles of grog!

Beauty is questing!
Episode 3/25:
Frilligreene sat disconsolately by a small hut on the tiny island, with her dwindling stock of paper from her expedition book, a quill and ink. There was also a small pile of bottles left behind from when she and her archaeology colleagues had had a picnic on the island to celebrate a most successful expedition to find the legendary Tyburne Monuments next to the island. Poor Filligreene couldn’t even risk going down to the shoreline in case an unexpected wave came washing over her! How awful it would be to end up dissolved into a gooey mess on a distant tropical island! Fortunately she had made friends with a very helpful hermit crab, who pushed the bottles down to the sea and set them off on their long journey to (hopefully) the nearest shore.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 4/25:
Captain Theodore was exploring underwater checking their co-ordinates against the map. A shoal of bright pink fish swam past, and he saw some strange blue creatures that looked like a cross between a fish and a dragon! He’d never seen them before! There were also many sparkling orbs on the seabed in white, green, pink and purple. He picked several of them up and stowed them safely away. Perhaps they would be of aid when they reached their destination?

Beauty is questing!
Episode 5/25:
Back on board, the voyage continued. A dolphin swam up beside him and chirped in welcome. “What brings you out to these parts, Cap’n Theo?”
The pirate captain explained the sad plight of Frilligreene Slug.
“Hey, that’s terrible for her,” said the dolphin. “How about I come along with some of my pod?”
Captain Theo gratefully recruited them on the spot as his submariner division.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 6/25:
Beauty waited impatiently on deck while the captain completed a leisurely assessment of the underwater scene. Some seagulls flying overhead came gracefully down to rest on the deck. To Beauty’s amazement, one of them was carrying an identical letter to the one washed up on the beach that morning!
“It’s a good job that one didn’t spot someone eating French fries on the way,” observed Beauty rather cynically. “Or he’d have swooped down to grab a chip out of the bag before you could say ‘gannet’, and dropped the letter!”
Beauty and the seagulls agreed to join forces. “It’ll be so useful with your aerial viewpoint,” said Beauty.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 7/25:
Beauty and Captain Theodore continued to navigate to the location of the Tyburne Monument to rescue the marooned slug. With his telescope, Theo spotted a raft being navigated by the Grey Langur Monkey with two passengers, a Puffin and a Hare. Steering alongside, the captain hailed the pets.
“Ahoy there! Where are you lot aiming for?”
“For Tyburne Island,” came the reply. “We found a—”
“A letter in a bottle, I know. Follow us!”

Beauty is questing!
Episode 8/25:
Beauty had brought along some new toys technology to assist in their search. First to be tried out was the astrolabe.
“Cap’n Theo, I bought a new steering wheel. It looks really high-tech—let’s try it out!”
Theodore glared at Beauty, unable to believe his eyes.
“That is not a steering wheel. That is a decorative replica of an astrolabe, commonly used up to the 16th century. It’s not even a mariner’s astrolabe. Put it away, do.”
Abashed, Beauty took the astrolabe down to the galley, where it was pressed into service as a tea tray.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 9/25:
Frilligreene was weary, having spent all morning in the gradual ascent of a palm tree. From the top, she anxiously scanned the horizon in fading hope of seeing signs of impending rescue. It was her lack of speed that had led to her being stranded in the first place. She and her colleagues had almost finished their picnic, and Frilligreene had gone to check the stash of bottled fruit juice left to cool in a small pool inland. There were several bottles in there which had been forgotten about. Frilligreene headed back for the landing stage, only to see her colleagues weighing anchor to start heading back out to sea! Her small squeaks of dismay went unheard ...

Beauty is questing!
Episode 10/25:
Beauty was keen to persuade one of the dolphins swimming alongside to go underwater with the newly purchased sub-aquatic sat-nav! The dolphins laughed cheerfully.
“We have something better than that, Beauty,” they explained. “We use echo-location!”
“Eccola–what?” asked Beauty in bafflement.
“We bounce high-pitched clicking sounds off underwater objects. It would be a bit like a human shouting and listening for echoes.”
“But this is a sat-nav!” protested Beauty.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 11/25:
Beauty spotted a small band of turtles ahead of them, one of them clutching in its mouth a familiar-looking piece of parchment.
“How many of these things did Frilligreene actually send?” Beauty wondered, as they pulled alongside to offer the little band of turtles a berth on board.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 12/25:
To keep the pets’ spirits up during the long afternoon, Cap’n Theodore organised a competition dancing the hornpipe. It was great fun, but it was felt that his eight tentacles gave him an unfair advantage over the others.
“You could dance it twice at the same time,” grumbled one of them.
“What does that even mean?” snapped the pirate captain.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 13/25:
Far away on Tyburne Island, Frilligreene was dismayed to discover she was now also running low on ink!
“Don’t worry,” advised the kindly hermit crab. “I’ll get a passing squid, octopus or cuttlefish to refill the inkwell. Those creatures all produce ink. We get visited by the Friendly Cuddlefish quite often, and the Humble Purple Squid.”
There was no sign of the Cuddlefish or the Squid for some reason, and Frilligreene was very alarmed when a huge octopus appeared next to the shore. But the hermit crab was as good as his word and Frilligreene soon had a replenished supply of black ink from the octopus.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 14/25:
The pets were hungry; with a marked lack of enthusiasm they broke open the galley store of ship’s hardtack, which were hard biscuits made of flour and water. Beauty pretended to break a tooth on one, but then announced, “It’s okay, everyone, I brought a huge hamper of goodies with me. Tuck in! There’s more than enough for everyone.”
They went ashore on a nearby island for a picnic. There was much cheering and feasting, and with renewed energy they faced what they hoped was the final stage of their long journey!

Beauty is questing!
Episode 15/25:
Even the seagulls rejected the hardtack! As night fell, the pets put the unwanted hard biscuits to good use by painting spots on them and using them as dominos. Some of the hardtack was made into draughts counters, Scrabble letters and playing cards! There was much merriment late into the night.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 16/25:
Stranded on her island, Frilligreene was composing a lament to post in her very last bottle.

Farewell, farewell! Now breaks my heart!
For all at home I daily pine
From friends and family rent apart
By miles and miles of salty brine.

Goodbye, my friends! I face with calm
My final home; this island where
The coconut and leaves of palm
From now on are my daily fare.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 17/25:
Beauty had brought along what had seemed to be a state-of-the-art diving suit, and eagerly climbed inside it. “I want to explore for myself, and see the pink fish and the blue dragon creatures you were telling us about! Can somebody zip me up and push this overboard?”
“Not if you want to see daylight again,” advised Cap’n Theodore. “They really saw you coming at that marine shop, didn’t they?”

Beauty is questing!
Episode 18/25:
Captain Theodore was getting fed up of his deck being infiltrated by all the extra pets getting in his way, using the ship's wheel as a merry-go-round, having races up and down the rigging, firing imaginary cannons at an invisible enemy while shouting "KABOOM!" at the top of their lungs, using battens to have mock sword fights, laughing and calling out “Ahoy there, skipper!” and “Heave to!” and “Avast there, me hearties!” and “Aaaaarrr, Jim lad!” He could see his precious ship capsizing through some nonsense on their part! The final straw was when Beauty, sprawled out sunbathing on the deck, constituting a tripping hazard to all and sundry, asked him to roll up the mainsail as it was blocking the sun! The captain lost his temper and ordered everypet down below, with the exception of his crew, so that he could finally get some peace! The pets set up a shrill clamour of protest!
Cap'n Theo fixed them with an icy glare. "You can go down below, at the double, this instant," he informed them, "or you can all go over the side. It's all the same to me."
There was a second's shocked silence, then the pets rushed for the vertical ladders leading below.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 19/25:
Back home, the Chameleon Snail heard about Frilligreene’s plight and the rescue. She was upset because Frilligreene Slug was in a way related to her, biologically speaking, as they were both gastropod molluscs. She decided to join the hunt! Fortunately she had her pilot's licence and her small biplane stood at the ready so it was "Chocks away!" and off she flew!

Beauty is questing!
Episode 20/25:
It was growing dark near the end of their second day at sea.
“We don’t have a port light. Cap’n Theo, you’re red. Go and stand on the left.”
Theodore barked: “I give orders; I don’t take them! And in actual fact, I’m maroon, not red.”
“Maroon, spelt R-E-D. There’s also ‘maroon’, meaning to abandon a pirate on a desert island. Let’s hope we don’t accidentally leave you behind once we’ve rescued Frilligreene!”
Theodore could be heard muttering that he himself could swim home, not being allergic to salt water like useless slugs—and he was the only one capable of navigating the boat, unlike useless landlubbers ...

Beauty is questing!
Episode 21/25:
Just after dawn the next day, the pets were all thrilled to bits to realise that they could see the ancient monuments of Tyburne through the telescope and therefore they were near their journey’s end!
“Land ahoy!” called out Beauty, balancing precariously on the top of the rigging clutching a telescope, and for once, Captain Theodore didn’t issue a curt command to go below.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 22/25:
Frilligreene was overjoyed to see the ship on the horizon getting nearer and nearer. She slithered as fast as she could down to the landing stage, but had plenty of time to gather her things together to take back home, and to warmly thank the hermit crab for being so helpful.
"I'd send you a message in a bottle, but I think you've used all the bottles up!" said the hermit crab.
Theodore swam onto the island towing a small boat behind him and, with his motley crew cheering and shouting in glee, he rescued Frilligreene and brought her back to the ship, being careful not to let her touch the salt water.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 23/25:
While Frilligreene relaxed happily on the ship, Captain Theodore, his lobster crew, his parrot and the rest of the pets spent some time exploring the ruins of the Tyburne edifices, and speculating how they got there and what they might have looked like when new, hundreds of years ago. They experimented with the glowing orbs from the seabed that the captain had brought with him. To their excitement, when they pointed an orb at an arch or pillar, the whole thing lit up in a gentle glow! Furthermore, when they aimed the ornate winged key at the main ruin and pressed the green “eye”, strange runes appeared on the columns and pillars! Frilligreene, who had been watching them from halfway up the ship’s mast, got so excited that she almost dived overboard to join them!
“We didn’t know what the key did,” she gasped. “It was in my care, and when I got stranded I thought it might help someone come to my rescue. The whole archaeology team will have to come back for another visit.”
Frilligreene was so excited, she asked to be taken back onto the island so that she could examine the runes close up, make notes in her expedition book and speculate on what made the pillars glow when an orb was held up to them.

Beauty is questing!
Episode 24/25:
Frilligreene practised using the ornate key to turn the runes on and off.
"Don’t point that thing at me!” sang out Beauty, half-serious, half-joking. “I don’t want a curse put on me by the Green Eyed Yellow God!”
Striking a solemn pose, Beauty declaimed: "There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Katmandu ..."
At the same time, Frilligreene sat on the steps of the main monument and with the passion of a true enthusiast, started talking at length and with gusto about its architectural style. The result was bizarre.

“... grand statement piece ... entrance to the cour d'honneur ...”

And jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do, but

“... Corinthian pillars ... more Roman than the cleaner Hellenic lines embellished with ...”

... the green eye of the little Yellow God.

“... and inner façades containing friezes ...”

But for once he failed to smile, and he sat alone awhile, then went out into the night beneath the ...

“... Arch of Constantine in Rome and the Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel in Paris ..."

He returned before the dawn, with his shirt and tunic torn

“... and an arch with two spandrels above it ...”

When the ball was at its height, on that still and tropic night, she thought of him and hurried to his room;

"... made with Carrara marble with embellishments of marble from quarries near Seravezza ...“

As she crossed the barrack square she could hear the dreamy air of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom.

“... and an allegorical panel of Peace, holding an olive branch ...”

‘Twas the Vengeance of the Little Yellow God.

The pets all listened politely to one or the other at first, depending on whether their tastes inclined more to melodramatic Edwardian theatrical monologues or stately classical architecture, but then decided an energetic game of hide and seek among the pillars, columns and huge stone vases was more entertaining! It would stretch their legs and/or wings before the long trip back. Then Captain Theodore summoned them to the landing stage for the voyage back home. The pets excitedly queued up to go back on board, double-checked everyone was present that should be, and triple-checked that Frilligreene was safely ensconced in the best cabin!

Beauty is questing!
Episode 25/25:
At the end of their long, but fortunately, by and large, alarm-free voyage back, Beauty, Captain Theodore and his crew escorted Frilligreene back to her garden home, which made her as happy as could be, having thought for so long that she’d never see it again. She opened the door and invited them in for tea and biscuits.
“Oh, I’ve got a reply to one of my letters!” she announced. She waited eagerly while Theodore picked the envelope up from the doormat, opened it and unrolled the missive, various tentacles snaking out to pin each corner in place.
“It’s from—the Water Board?” she said, puzzled.

“‘Dear Madam, [she read]

We should be grateful if you would in future kindly avoid littering the ocean with bottles, as a great deal of our resources and petpower are required to clear rubbish in the sea and inland waterways.

Yours faithfully—’”

Her voice failed her and she spluttered to a halt. Her new friends laughed uproariously and in the end, Frilligreene saw the funny side too. It was good to be back!
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