Zen is questing! Episode 1/25

Tarquin sighed a gusty sigh as he hurried along the sidewalk. It was so loud here! The traffic never stopped. All day and night was a cacophony of the clanging tramway, screeching brakes, blaring horns and pets’ voices raised in admonitory and warning shouts. He raised a trotter to open the door to the tavern and slipped inside. All at once the noise outside was reduced to a background whisper and all that could be heard was snippets of various pets’ conversations, orders being called to the barpet, the crackle of a cheerful fire and the gentle clicking of chess pieces being moved.
He ordered a pint of mild and stood sipping it for a moment.
“I want to go home.”
Unaware that he had spoken out loud, he gave a start of surprise when someone replied. “Where’s ‘home’, then, Tarkie? You can get a cab any time.”
Tarquin looked down in the direction of the voice. He had called into the Golden Clover for a relaxing drink before heading back to his house on the outskirts of New Pork City. His companion was a grizzled badger in a Homburg and scarf, clutching a half-pint of stout and peering short-sightedly around him.
“Hello, Brian,” replied Tarquin. “Well, I have a pigsty in Oinkers. But—”
“Well, get it sorted out! There’s no excuse for living in a pigsty! You can easily find a nice Mrs Mop to see to it, or a ‘lady that does’ as they used to be called.” Brian buried his snout back in his half-pint and slurped deeply.
“No, no, I don’t mean I live in a mess! It’s a sty for pigs—I’m a pig—so it’s called a pigsty. But I just meant, you know, I want to go home.”
“To Oinkers?” queried Brian, puzzled.
“No! Home! Where I come from!” Tarquin gazed out of the window into the darkness outside and his eyes misted over with homesickness. “A small, damp, foggy island off the mainland where everything’s at a slower pace and you have time to think.”
“Oh, you mean Britain!” said Brian, finishing his drink.
“No!” cried Tarquin. “Or rather, yes, but—oh, you interrupted me. Do you fancy another half, Brian?”
“Don’t mind if I do, as you’re asking.”

Zen is questing! Episode 2/25

With each of them replenished drink-wise, Tarquin attempted to recapture his nostalgic vision of his former domicile. “It’s a small, damp, foggy island off the mainland—not the Continent,” he interpolated, as Brian opened his snout to interject again. “Off mainland Britain.” He mused for a few moments. “I come from the Isle of Wight.”
“What’s it like living there, then?” enquired Brian.
“It’s like living in 1920,” said Tarquin dreamily. “It’s lovely.”
Brian took a refreshing draught of his half of stout. “I doubt it would suit me,” he observed. “I’m one as likes his mod cons.”

Zen is questing! Episode 3/25

The next evening, Tarquin returned home from his construction job still in a low mood. He had been attracted to the building projects in New Pork City a couple of years ago as there was plenty of work and the city’s reputation was of a vibrant, friendly, cosmopolitan place. But more and more he found himself almost overwhelmed with homesickness. But it seemed fate was about to intervene! A letter from overseas had arrived for him. Tarquin put some baked beans into a pan and some slices of bread in the toaster, and then with a nice cup of tea clutched between his trotters, he settled down to see who had written to him. Having mastered the letter’s contents, his gaze rose to the decorative berry branches he had brought from home and arranged on his mantelpiece, and he became very thoughtful.

Zen is questing! Episode 4/25

“Dear Mr Trotter [the letter said]
“We are very sorry to inform you of the death of your great-aunt, Miss Beatrix Trotter, on the 10th inst.

“You are the sole beneficiary in her Will and this firm is the executor. Miss Trotter left you her property, a brick sty on the Isle of Wight. We should explain, however, that this property is in some need of attention and would benefit from modernisation. Also bequeathed to you is Miss Trotter’s secret recipe for “Trotter’s Elixir” made from Wightberries, which, as you know, are endemic to the Isle of Wight.

“We should be grateful if you would contact us at your earliest convenience in order that the formalities may be completed in the winding-up of your great-aunt’s estate. It would be most helpful if you were to inform us as soon as possible of any intention to return to the Island.

“Yours faithfully



GNASH & CO, SOLICITORS”

Tarquin read the letter over several times.

Zen is questing! Episode 5/25

Tarquin was sorry that he had been over here in New Pork City when Great-Aunt Beatrix died. He wished he had written to her more. But he didn't need to think too much about his decision. He was homesick; he wanted to go back. He went outside that evening and looked up and down Pork Avenue for some time. In a way, he would miss it, but he felt the time was right to return home.

Zen is questing! Episode 6/25

Tarquin had to spend some time in NPC still and work his notice from his job. But finally he was packed and ready to go!
It was a long flight, but the nearer the plane got to Southampton, the happier Tarquin felt.

Zen is questing! Episode 7/25

From Southampton it was just a brief trip across the Solent to Cowes. It rained solidly the whole time, and Tarquin relished the feel of the rain against his head, ears and snout.

Zen is questing! Episode 8/25

Tarquin spent a day touring the island getting his bearings back before visiting Gnash & Co to finalise the estate. He was happy to bump into Bagel, who he hadn't seen for two years, and along the way they met Zen.

Zen is questing! Episode 9/25

Finally, Tarquin ventured out to Great-Aunt Beatrix's old residence. "In some need of attention" just about summed it up!
Tarquin pondered. "I don't know," he said slowly, "this was once a fine dwelling, but my time in New Pork City has given me a dislike of being bricked in. I'd like to experiment with a building of straw—something breathable but sturdy—like a thatched roof is, you know."
"What will you do with Great-Aunt Beatrix's property?" asked Bagel interestedly.
Tarquin surveyed his old relative's former dwelling. "I think I'll repair it, re-roof it and offer it for sale," he said slowly.
Bagel became quite excited. "Perhaps I could buy it when it's done!" he squeaked.
"Yes!" agreed Tarquin. "That sounds like a great idea! Don't worry, I'll do a first-class job on it!"

Zen is questing! Episode 10/25

All afire, Tarquin, Bagel and Zen brought bales of different straw samples along to the property for the great straw house experiment. They consulted a local thatcher for advice on making a sturdy thatched roof.

Zen is questing! Episode 11/25

Tarquin found the ideal spot for his new home—a fenced-in field in a rural area. Even though he was intent on his building to be done with straw, he was thinking about the other bequest Great-Aunt Beatrix had left him—the secret elixir recipe. He found himself telling Bagel and Zen about the family elixir as they worked on the straw house.
"When we were piglets, we would be lined up and dosed with a spoonful of the Wightberry Elixir every night. My goodness, was it vile! I was glancing at the recipe last night. It seems to be just mashed-up berries in differing proportions. They're very tart on their own."
"Perhaps it could be made more palatable?" suggested Zen. "We used to be given a sugarlump after horrid medicine!"
Tarquin pondered. "I don't think we can put sugar in it these days. Think of the fuss! Although when all's said and done, sugar is a natural substance and preferable to chemical nasties. I'll have a think about it."

Zen is questing! Episode 12/25

But the first job was to discover whereabouts on the island the Wightberries grew. Every afternoon, after working on the old brick property and the new straw house, Tarquin, Bagel and Zen would explore different regions. Did the berries perhaps grow on the clifftops?
"No," confirmed a local rabbit. "Just grass here. But it's very good grass."

Zen is questing! Episode 13/25

Perhaps the Wightberries grew nearer the beach, by the bathing huts? But no. They drew a blank there as well.

Zen is questing! Episode 14/25

Perhaps the Wightberries were to be found in woodland areas? They had no success finding them here either, but Tarquin was very happy to discover a four-leaf clover when they paused to have a rest.
"If I start marketing the elixir, I think I'll use this as the logo," he said happily.
"That would be a great logo!" responded Bagel.
"It would remind you of your favourite place back in New Pork City, the Golden Clover," remarked Zen.

Zen is questing! Episode 15/25

Finally, a nuthatch gave them the clue they were seeking. The Wightberries could be found in the sand dunes by the sea, mixed amongst the marram grass.
"They're very healthy, those berries, you know," chirped the nuthatch. "We feed them to our youngsters every year, and they're bursting with energy! They can't wait to leave the nest to practise their flying!"
"Oh yes, it's just a shame the berries are so sour-tasting," mused Tarquin.
"Sour-tasting?" queried the nuthatch. "Not a bit of it!"

Zen is questing! Episode 16/25

They found the Wightberries just where the nuthatch had said.
Tarquin collected samples of marram grass as an alternative straw experiment, and then picked several branches of different flavours of Wightberries. He had quite a selection clasped between his trotters when he'd finished!

Zen is questing! Episode 17/25

Tarquin hired a kitchen and after each day's building activities were over, he experimented long into the night trying different combinations of berries and various other ingredients, such as the addition of apple or orange juice. Zen and Bagel were eager participants in the tasting sessions, especially as the samples grew more palatable as time went on!

Zen is questing! Episode 18/25

Tarquin designed a logo—the clover leaf on a pixellated background representing all the various flavours of Wightberries: grape, lime, strawberry, kiwi, greengage, blueberry, plum, bilberries and elderberries.

Zen is questing! Episode 19/25

The time finally came when the various flavours were ready to test in a focus group! The participants were extremely enthusiastic and said they'd buy the Elixir in a trice!

Zen is questing! Episode 20/25

Their hard work on the houses had also paid off, as a snug sty with a thatched roof was completed. They had also rebuilt Great-Aunt Beatrix Trotter's house for Bagel not too far away.

Zen is questing! Episode 21/25

Tarquin found time to send a postcard to his old friends at the Golden Clover describing his new way of life. He missed them, he said, and he would doubtless be back to visit, but he was extremely happy on the Isle of Wight with his successful new business and new straw house.

Zen is questing! Episode 22/25

One day whilst out collecting Wightberries, they came across a creature that caused them to jump with fright!
"It's all right, chaps—I'm not a Big Bad Wolf. I'm allergic to pollen—and hay—and straw—so it would cause me more grief to blow your house down than it would benefit me! Not that I'd blow your house down in any event. I'm no vandal."
Tarquin sympathised and gave him a bottle of elixir. He was very happy when the Wolf reported a huge improvement in his symptoms!

Zen is questing! Episode 23/25

Tarquin felt very happy to be back home, with a snug house and a thriving business from the elixir.
"It's great, isn't it, Zen?"

Zen is questing! Episode 24/25

He built another straw house to be a small shop for the elixir.

Zen is questing! Episode 25/25

"Here is a Ukrainian egg for you, Zen, to thank you very much for all your hard work."
Zen has enjoyed their visit to New Pork City! Please select another pet as visitor, so it can also go visit!