Oh my goodness!!! I'm a star!!!
They've made me a star!!
I'm so excited!! I don't know if I can contain myself!!

Oh - hi! I'm Bob. Oh wow!! I'm a star!!!!

Here's something you ought to know about me. I am easily excitable. And when I'm excited, my mouth opens wider than a very large tunnel. Oh - I know that when I get excited it looks as if I'm about to bite your face off, or at the very least, eat a 7-layer cake in one bite. But I promise you - that look on my face - it's pure glee. I think I may have Italian descendants cuz I also talk with my hands when I'm excited. Don't worry - I won't try to tear you apart - I might grab you for a really big hug, but I'd never hurt you (or anyone else).
Another thing - I love chocolate. Any chocolate. When you come to visit, can you bring chocolate?



Here's one more very important about me - Bob is not my full name. Bob is short for "Bobert". I absolutely CANNOT STAND to be called "Bobert". That is one of the few things in life that will make me a very mean and cranky scaly monster. I just don't understand how my parents could have given me a name so horrific. I can't tell you how often the kids at school made fun of me because of that name. As soon as I was old enough, I declared that everyone had to call me "Bob". From that point on, I flat out refused to answer to "Bobert". If you really want to see me get mad - just call me "Bobert". (I'd suggest you NOT do that) But if you want to be friends with me, just call me "Bob" - all my friends and (a bit reluctantly) and family call me "Bob".